Thursday 30 June 2016

My DDP


So Tom lifted himself up and looked around. Tom could see a little spikier of light coming from the cave. So he decided to walk before Sebastian caught up to him. So he kept on walking till he got to something hard in front of him. With one hand Tom put his hand on the wall to see if he could feel something. He did and it was another key. So it twisted it and turned it till there was a loud scritching. Suddenly a voice said I am coming to get you. Tom tried and tried to quickly open to door.

Austen's Poem about writing.


My poem about writing. By Austen

You pick up your pencil
grip it tightly in your hand

Sit down, on the chair
beside your own Desk
thinking what to write

Once a bubbling idea
comes into your mind

As bubbling as a bath
full of soapy, soft foam.

Grab your pencil and
write the idea down

When you make a mistake
all you need an eraser to
make it fade out onto paper.
You might want to add some
detailed sketched pictures to
Make it a bit more interesting

As messy as when you
when you are using
charcoal to draw a picture.

All you need a introduction
and conclusion to make
the writing really intriguing

Try to make your story
more interesting than
a parrot talking Japanese.

Do not forget a little
grammar then your
story is nearly Done!
By Austen.D

Wednesday 29 June 2016


Jack C
DDP




He was scared that his life was going to be cut short and so when he fell he grabbed the climbing rope for dear life.He screamed at his top of his lungs aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Then someone came up and just got his hair and yanked him over the edge of HMS Fury.
His face slammed on the  deck of the ship and his face was pouring with blood.

Jack C
DDP


He was scared that his life was going to be cut short and so when he fell he grabbed the climbing rope for dear life.He screamed at his top of his lungs aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Then someone came up and just got his hair and yanked him over the edge of HMS Fury.
His face slammed on the  deck of the ship and his face was pouring with blood.




I felt a strong shiver go down my back.

As I started to panic,Footsteps just the sound of footsteps.

I tried not to faint but that was like trying not to eat a cheeseburger.

I heard the sound of a blade,dragging across the cold,dark ground .

I started to panic and started to scream “ Get me out HELP” the only response I got was “good luck boy and I forgot to tell you no one came back because they were killed “I tried to climb up the wall but no luck I knew I was going to die.

Then I saw a girl she had no pew balls and blue hair, barefoot and she was like in a wedding dress I saw her licking the blood off the remaining bone.

I tried not to stare but it was to hard all I could do is hope,hope for life then we made eye contact. I said “ hi” she started to move closer to me as I backed up on a wall.
Rachel W

I was shivering from being scared but also cold.

I really wanted to open my eyes and see what it was but the other part of me didn’t. I decided not to open my eyes though then I went on.

As I walked closer I heard louder breathing.

I just felt like I had to open my eyes so I did, first all I saw was darkness then I put the torch infront of me and I saw something.

Then I quickly shut my eyes, but that thing that I saw didn’t look good for the split second I saw claws and sharp teeth as sharp as a knife. I tried running and running further away from that thing but I still could hear it .

I waited for a moment and tried not to move or breathe and after a few seconds I was sure it left .
Charlie S


I knew that a cold breeze would come.

The breeze will tell us something about what will happen next.

The cave didn’t look so good at the start something was telling me that trouble was near. I  heard a big bang

I thought something was going to attack me.

Something felt bad and it is not the good bad it’s probably the dead bad

The room was feeling colder as Nics Hands were slowly freezing, but Nic thought to go and shake it off and run around.

Suddenly, the room was closing and the walls were getting closer and closer and closer. Just when Nic thought he would die the walls stopped.

The room was get darker this time this time nNc thought that the room is going to crush him when he didn’t now this could be bad then he slipped and fell down to this dark room this time it was warmer and it did not look nice and bones were everywhere and blood dripping from the ceiling and then Nic heard a SSSS sound it was sound like a snake.

Jensen's poem advvenc - Invitation to edit

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Writing Poem - Aashna

​In Mrs Parker's literacy group, we read this Poem called In Other Words. Now we have to write a poem about writing. Hope you enjoy my poem.
By Aashna 


Austen's Poem about Writing


Holly's Scrunch Bunch Munch Too Much poem



Pativai's Animation Of Rain

This is my animation of rain and it was written by a poet called Hone Tuwhare. I liked going through the process of animation because it is cool to see what they do. The poem was very inspirational with the things he said about if he could not see, hear, feel or taste.

 

Out of the window, By Sophie


Writing Poem

This week we read a book called In Other Words by Glenn Colquhoun.
After we read it we had to make our own poem about writing. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy.




Scrunch Breath Throw By Amelie

My group called Creative Kakapos read a poem called In Other Words - By Glenn Colquhoun It somehow explained how they felt about poetry and writing but it didn't exactly say 'I love Writing.' Or 'Writing is so boring I don't like it.' it said it very differently, hidden between the words and the poetry. So we were told to make poems our self without any help, We used heaps of language features that Miss Parker told us at the beginning. One of then is enjambment its when at any time you can press the space button and start a new line and you didn't need a comma or a pause. another one is Rhythm is the poetic pace and flow created from a measure of balance and pattern within the language structure, one of my favourite is personification it is just giving human features to a non moving everyday object (E.G waving, dancing, sleeping or other things. We also used Similes and metaphors and heaps of other language features that were all located in a doc.

This is my poem about writing it is meant to explain how I feel about writing in poetry.


Monday 27 June 2016

Cybersmart Blogger Profiles.

In Hub 8 as part of our cybersmart learning we have been talking about what things we should share online about ourselves.
Check out our awesome cybersmart profiles and learn lots about our wonderful tamariki.

Click the 4 arrow icon on the bottom to go full screen.

Cybersmart profile


DDP Term 2 week 9 - Invitation to edit

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Izzy's DDP writing

He tried not to look down but he couldn't help it he stared at the dark navy ocean he could feel his hands slowly sliding down the thick rope the water was just below his waist. Then Jimmy grim hold could feel something holding a mighty grip on his legs, He could feel eight slimy tentacles trying to drag him down the deep .Yep you guessed it the octopus.The octopus swung higher on the rope could it be was the big slimey creature pulling him aboard would he make it alive as the octopus pulled him just above half way the slimy creature jumped in the ocean  and dived in the deep Jimmy could at last pull himself aboard Alas he was safe.

DDP

Jimmy Grimholt held onto the rusty,wet rope but… no use Jimmy let go and crashed and mashed into the boat and had a leak (The boat  not Jimmy). After that Jimmy looked down and… "AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed Jimmy had no choice but to get help he called "HELP ME!!!" But no matter how hard he tried  to call know could help him he wondered What are they doing?Are they ignoring me?Or are they far,far away? There was no other choice he had to think fast but he didn't have a plan.What should he do next?…

DDP From Riley

kia ora,
This is my DDP - daily dose paragraph
​scroll side wards.
From Riley


Monkey Boy By Isabella

Jimmy looked down he did't want it to end like this  he swept on to the other rope looking down at the dark black water moving up and down . He refused to die  and quickly jumped on to another rope and pulled himself  up a little  Jimmy was only half way up the rope ladder . suddenly  his bag slept of his back a little gently he pulled it up with only one hand holding on to the rope ladder.   Jimmy keeper moving up and up he was very very closed to the top  as he reached for the last rope  he fell!!! He jumped  back on the  other rope reaching for the top he didn't  want to fall again  . Jimmy said to himself  am i going to make it or not …

writing by seb




Friday 24 June 2016

The Deer Debate!

This week, one of the groups in Mrs.Parker's literacy group has been learning about the Deer Debate in New Zealand and were set up with a task to create a persuasive writing or poster, I have chosen to create a little mix of both.
The first task was to build our vocabulary knowledge, the second was to write this letter. 


Thursday 23 June 2016




Every day we read a chapter from a different book and then the learners have 15 minutes to complete the very next paragraph.
They share their work with a peer and then they offer constructive feedback and make the changes that are offered by their peer.
Leila 
Book: Mark of a thief
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.

Leila's paragraph
We were both so scared but when I looked at Sal he was pale as a sheep, I tried to pretend to not be scared, but I couldn't help it. We were already half way through and we STOPPED! There was a rustling sound more deeper in the curse cave… We both didn't move a single muscle. My hair was tickling my nose I wanted to sneeze! Aaaa Aaaaa Aaaaaa Chooooooooooo! Someone shouted out “ STOP RIGHT THERE!!!” Sal and I closed our eyes and slowly turned around…..


Daniel
Book: Omen of the stars Warriors The last hope by Erin Hunter

Prologue: Last paragraph
Slant narrowed his eyes. “Do the clans walk alone into the final battle?”
Half moon flattened her ears “ Never alone!” She lifted her chin.
“I will fight alongside Jay feather.”
Broken Shadow unsheathed her claws. “And I will fight alongside my son.”
“I will fight beside Jagged lightning and my kits to defeat this darkness. “ Owl feathers eye sparked.
Bluestar thrashed her tail. “ And I will die a tenth time to defend ThunderClan!”
“These cats will never stand alone ,” Half Moon declared.
“We are with them just as we have always been.”
Light against dark.” Midnight growled. This is the end of all things- This is the last sunrise.”
Rock touch her flank lightly with the tip of his tail. “It is what we have been waiting for, my friend.”

Daniels paragraph:
I think that they will plan their battle and then the ambush each other and then some of them team up and then then the fight each other and then two clans give up and the rest fight each other and then the clans that gave up came back in and ambushed them again the they manage to all rest for a bit then 1 clan went out and made a hut in a tree and then when the other teams came to attack each other some of the clan people went under the tree and the they attacked and then some distracted the rest of the clans and the cats that went down went up to the hut and they plotted their next plan to destroy the other clan so they can takeover the clans but then the other clans knew what they were doing so the plotted a plan and then they did it.

Amy
Book: Monkey Boy
by Donovan Bixley

So we must leave young Jimmy as he is, with his breeches about his ankles in fear for his soul. For I should really start where all good stories start from the beginning when young Jimmy Grimholt first began his life at sea.

Amy's paragraph
As Jimmy pulls up his underpants. His dog  was trying to eat his underpants . He freely ran to the stair’s Put his breaches on. Then he entered the zone of death to his luck all the crew had their dinner. Then the captain shouts  come here  Jimmy Grimholt. He had time to pull his breaches.


Jake
Book: Mark of a thief
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.

Jake's paragraph

of the shadows he said “Oh you are so cute.” It transformed into a big massive troll Sal started to run then he stood behind a corner and then he found some stairs. So he went down them and he saw a massive Tarantula. He started to scream. Randalf heard Sal scream so he went inside and he got past the big troll then he found the stairs and saw the Tarantula. But Randalf bought his sword down just incase he needed to. Randalf pulled out his sword and slayed the Tarantula. They saw a door that the Tarantula was guarding and they went through it. When they went through the door they found lots of diamonds and a golden sword. Then Sal said “that’s why the Tarantula was guarding this door.” They went out of the door with all the stuff they found and they slaid the big troll and went outside. Once they got outside they went home.  

Isabelle
Book: Omen of the stars Warriors The last hope by Erin Hunter
Slant narrowed his eyes. “Do the clans walk alone into the final battle?”
Half moon flattened her ears “ Never alone!” She lifted her chin.
“I will fight alongside Jay feather.”
Broken Shadow unsheathed her claws. “And I will fight alongside my son.”
“I will fight beside Jagged lightning and my kits to defeat this darkness. “ Owl feather’s eye sparked.
Bluestar thrashed her tail. “ And I will die a tenth time to defend ThunderClan!”
“These cats will never stand alone ,” Half Moon declared.
“We are with them just as we have always been.”
Light against dark.” Midnight growled. “This is the end of all things- This is the last sunrise.”
Rock touch her flank lightly with the tip of his tail. “It is what we have been waiting for, my friend.”


Isabelle's paragraph
The cats were led into the cave which had the great prophecy on a stone guarded by a hippie cat that had been cursed ( and that looked like a zombie) by half moon. When half moon did a enchantment the hippie lady moved aside from the rock and then the great prophecy started the story. I sadly can’t tell you what was in the great prophecy because it is a secret but i can tell you what happened after, everyone looked petrified about what they had just seen of the great prophecy then finally midnight growled “well that was a bit scary” even though he was shivering but everyone else thought that he hadnt really found it a bit scary but horrifying.



Isabella
Book: Mark of a thief
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.

Isabella's paragraph
When I was walking with Randulf I felt even more pale , I tried to say something else to make him let me go, But it did not go so well, “B b b b b but what did I do wrong, all I was doing was looking for prisoners that were running away, and, and ,and well I found one, b b b b b but I accidentally let him go.” “ D`id you find out his name” “No sir “ well then you are going with me , Full stop “ See what did I say it didn’t go so well.


Ashley's N
Book: Mark of a thief. Jennifer A Nielsen
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.

Ashley N paragraph
A bloody death eh? Not so much to Roman slaves. We either get our heads chopped off or go into the cursed cave.. But I didn’t want that, I wanted to life a full life and then; die. But reality wans’t like that.
RAndulf “I want power I want freedom!” he says whipping the slaves “AHHHH!” “ I want the throne!” Oh gosh my turn. “ AAHH!” He whispers “ Remember this moment, I guess he says that to every slave in the compartment. A whispering comes from behind my back, “ Hey” “ What I’m frocking sleepng!?” “ Wanna gamble?” “ Stupid, let’s get this over with” “ So you wanna gamble? - I should of heard our murmuring.” “ Haha nah I’m fine..” “ Come on it’ll be fun?!” “ Yo  said I’m fine.

Mugdha
Book: Monkey Boy by Donovan Bixley
So we must leave young Jimmy as he is, with his breeches about his ankles in fear for his soul. For I should really start where all good stories start from the beginning when young Jimmy Grimholt first began his life at sea.

Mugdha paragraph
The rocking storm like a hurricane approaching with dark black clouds on top.As Jimmy Grimholt runs to sea  this rocking storm this story was talking about a the beginning has just started. The wind rusles through his ears giving him a migrane  his tries too reach his crew but the have disapeared into sea. So that night the storm had stoped but still rueslin. There were  howls and grumbles coming closer Jimmy woke up and found…

Joya
Book: Mark of a thief

A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.

Joya
So off me and Sal went to the tunnel. I was afraid because the Tunnel was cursed. And of course Sal was angry with me for making him come to the Tunnels. He forcefully raised his fist and slapped me across the face. “ Ouch what was that for?” “What do you think I’m mad at you for making me come with you and I might die!” Sal said. I said “ You mean we might die. At least I won’t be alone in a cursed tunnel”.  I knew that I could just BALE out on Randolph but I knew he would come for me.

Paddy
Book:Monkey Boy by Donovan Bixley
So we must leave young Jimmy as he is, with his breeches about his ankles in fear for his soul. For I should really start where all good stories start from the beginning when young Jimmy Grimholt first began his life at sea.

Paddy's paragraph
He got stuck on the sea and then he saw some ghosts and he said please help me. The ghost said ok I will try help you but then he thought about a really good idea. He said how about I get a rope and attach it to your back. But Jimmy said what if my back gets hurt and it breaks. The ghost said don't worry about that don’t you want to get back to shore. Ok attach it to my back but don’t blame me if my back gets hurt.

Charlie S
Book:The impossible quest escape from Wolfhaven castle. By Kate Forsyth.
Tom took up all his courage and was going to see Lord Wolfgang he rushed through the garden up the castle steps . Into the castle he found himself flabbergasted . All the Maids were everywhere . The lord was straight ahead .  


Charlie S
Tom was told to go away and keep running until he get told to stop and do different work like Guarding the cells,training the new ones and Sharpening the swords until The sun starts going down he can stop and go…
To bed and wake up for another day doing the same things.




blog thing



My Paragraph

Quinn felt a sneeze coming up "ahh AHHH CHOOOOOOO" it then made a monster appear But then Mistress pippin heard the sound and she came running trying to look for Quinn but Quinn wasn't anywhere to be seen but from around the corner Mistress pippin saw was…

Quinn but she looked pale and then she said to mistress pippin with an old quiet voice "Run! he's coming!!!"

"Who,Who's coming?" Mrs pippin said

Tuesday 21 June 2016

What Is the different between a Narrative and a Recount by Leila , Isabella , Mugdha , Izzy , Rachel.

WALHT: review the narrative structure

Talk to a learner beside you.

MM: Compare what is the difference between a Narrative and a recount.

BK: BWIK Record here

Read the following posters

Narrative poster and Recount poster

Let's discuss the differences you have seen.



Narrative

Recount

Difference 1

Well  defined characters

Includes the people  involved

Difference 2

Fiction

Non   Fiction

Difference 3

Written in first person or third person

Writing  Past tense

Difference 4

No conclusion

Has conclusion

No Hunting


​This is my poster about deer. In my perspective I think that hunting should be banned in NZ. We read a story inside our jouranal named Deer Oh Deer by Mary Campbell. This story was published in 2010. We also had to write a persuasasive story on the story that we read.

Amy's google profile

Narrative refresh from Riley

Group:
Amy
Isabelle
Riley
Jade
Maddy



sebs writing



newspaper (4).pdf

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