Every day we read a chapter from a different book and then the learners have 15 minutes to complete the very next paragraph.
They share their work with a peer and then they offer constructive feedback and make the changes that are offered by their peer.
Leila
Book: Mark of a thief
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.
Leila's paragraph
We were both so scared but when I looked at Sal he was pale as a sheep, I tried to pretend to not be scared, but I couldn't help it. We were already half way through and we STOPPED! There was a rustling sound more deeper in the curse cave… We both didn't move a single muscle. My hair was tickling my nose I wanted to sneeze! Aaaa Aaaaa Aaaaaa Chooooooooooo! Someone shouted out “ STOP RIGHT THERE!!!” Sal and I closed our eyes and slowly turned around…..
Daniel
Book: Omen of the stars Warriors The last hope by Erin Hunter
Prologue: Last paragraph
Slant narrowed his eyes. “Do the clans walk alone into the final battle?”
Half moon flattened her ears “ Never alone!” She lifted her chin.
“I will fight alongside Jay feather.”
Broken Shadow unsheathed her claws. “And I will fight alongside my son.”
“I will fight beside Jagged lightning and my kits to defeat this darkness. “ Owl feathers eye sparked.
Bluestar thrashed her tail. “ And I will die a tenth time to defend ThunderClan!”
“These cats will never stand alone ,” Half Moon declared.
“We are with them just as we have always been.”
Light against dark.” Midnight growled. This is the end of all things- This is the last sunrise.”
Rock touch her flank lightly with the tip of his tail. “It is what we have been waiting for, my friend.”
Daniels paragraph:
I think that they will plan their battle and then the ambush each other and then some of them team up and then then the fight each other and then two clans give up and the rest fight each other and then the clans that gave up came back in and ambushed them again the they manage to all rest for a bit then 1 clan went out and made a hut in a tree and then when the other teams came to attack each other some of the clan people went under the tree and the they attacked and then some distracted the rest of the clans and the cats that went down went up to the hut and they plotted their next plan to destroy the other clan so they can takeover the clans but then the other clans knew what they were doing so the plotted a plan and then they did it.
Amy
Book: Monkey Boy
by Donovan Bixley
So we must leave young Jimmy as he is, with his breeches about his ankles in fear for his soul. For I should really start where all good stories start from the beginning when young Jimmy Grimholt first began his life at sea.
Amy's paragraph
As Jimmy pulls up his underpants. His dog was trying to eat his underpants . He freely ran to the stair’s Put his breaches on. Then he entered the zone of death to his luck all the crew had their dinner. Then the captain shouts come here Jimmy Grimholt. He had time to pull his breaches.
Jake
Book: Mark of a thief
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.
Jake's paragraph
of the shadows he said “Oh you are so cute.” It transformed into a big massive troll Sal started to run then he stood behind a corner and then he found some stairs. So he went down them and he saw a massive Tarantula. He started to scream. Randalf heard Sal scream so he went inside and he got past the big troll then he found the stairs and saw the Tarantula. But Randalf bought his sword down just incase he needed to. Randalf pulled out his sword and slayed the Tarantula. They saw a door that the Tarantula was guarding and they went through it. When they went through the door they found lots of diamonds and a golden sword. Then Sal said “that’s why the Tarantula was guarding this door.” They went out of the door with all the stuff they found and they slaid the big troll and went outside. Once they got outside they went home.
Isabelle
Book: Omen of the stars Warriors The last hope by Erin Hunter
Slant narrowed his eyes. “Do the clans walk alone into the final battle?”
Half moon flattened her ears “ Never alone!” She lifted her chin.
“I will fight alongside Jay feather.”
Broken Shadow unsheathed her claws. “And I will fight alongside my son.”
“I will fight beside Jagged lightning and my kits to defeat this darkness. “ Owl feather’s eye sparked.
Bluestar thrashed her tail. “ And I will die a tenth time to defend ThunderClan!”
“These cats will never stand alone ,” Half Moon declared.
“We are with them just as we have always been.”
Light against dark.” Midnight growled. “This is the end of all things- This is the last sunrise.”
Rock touch her flank lightly with the tip of his tail. “It is what we have been waiting for, my friend.”
Isabelle's paragraph
The cats were led into the cave which had the great prophecy on a stone guarded by a hippie cat that had been cursed ( and that looked like a zombie) by half moon. When half moon did a enchantment the hippie lady moved aside from the rock and then the great prophecy started the story. I sadly can’t tell you what was in the great prophecy because it is a secret but i can tell you what happened after, everyone looked petrified about what they had just seen of the great prophecy then finally midnight growled “well that was a bit scary” even though he was shivering but everyone else thought that he hadnt really found it a bit scary but horrifying.
Isabella
Book: Mark of a thief
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.
Isabella's paragraph
When I was walking with Randulf I felt even more pale , I tried to say something else to make him let me go, But it did not go so well, “B b b b b but what did I do wrong, all I was doing was looking for prisoners that were running away, and, and ,and well I found one, b b b b b but I accidentally let him go.” “ D`id you find out his name” “No sir “ well then you are going with me , Full stop “ See what did I say it didn’t go so well.
Ashley's N
Book: Mark of a thief. Jennifer A Nielsen
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.
Ashley N paragraph
A bloody death eh? Not so much to Roman slaves. We either get our heads chopped off or go into the cursed cave.. But I didn’t want that, I wanted to life a full life and then; die. But reality wans’t like that.
RAndulf “I want power I want freedom!” he says whipping the slaves “AHHHH!” “ I want the throne!” Oh gosh my turn. “ AAHH!” He whispers “ Remember this moment, I guess he says that to every slave in the compartment. A whispering comes from behind my back, “ Hey” “ What I’m frocking sleepng!?” “ Wanna gamble?” “ Stupid, let’s get this over with” “ So you wanna gamble? - I should of heard our murmuring.” “ Haha nah I’m fine..” “ Come on it’ll be fun?!” “ Yo said I’m fine.
Book: Monkey Boy by Donovan Bixley
So we must leave young Jimmy as he is, with his breeches about his ankles in fear for his soul. For I should really start where all good stories start from the beginning when young Jimmy Grimholt first began his life at sea.
Mugdha paragraph
The rocking storm like a hurricane approaching with dark black clouds on top.As Jimmy Grimholt runs to sea this rocking storm this story was talking about a the beginning has just started. The wind rusles through his ears giving him a migrane his tries too reach his crew but the have disapeared into sea. So that night the storm had stoped but still rueslin. There were howls and grumbles coming closer Jimmy woke up and found…
Joya
Book: Mark of a thief
A roll of thunder sounded outside as we walked deeper into the tunnel, and I shrugged. It was a sign, reminding me that, like the rest of the world, the gods cared nothing for mining slave. I felt the eyes of the other man as Sal dismissed everyone but Randalf and me from the mines. Thier expressions were sympathetic, even concerned for my plight. But they were more relieved that it was me not any of them walking to his death.
Joya
So off me and Sal went to the tunnel. I was afraid because the Tunnel was cursed. And of course Sal was angry with me for making him come to the Tunnels. He forcefully raised his fist and slapped me across the face. “ Ouch what was that for?” “What do you think I’m mad at you for making me come with you and I might die!” Sal said. I said “ You mean we might die. At least I won’t be alone in a cursed tunnel”. I knew that I could just BALE out on Randolph but I knew he would come for me.
Paddy
Book:Monkey Boy by Donovan Bixley
So we must leave young Jimmy as he is, with his breeches about his ankles in fear for his soul. For I should really start where all good stories start from the beginning when young Jimmy Grimholt first began his life at sea.
Paddy's paragraph
He got stuck on the sea and then he saw some ghosts and he said please help me. The ghost said ok I will try help you but then he thought about a really good idea. He said how about I get a rope and attach it to your back. But Jimmy said what if my back gets hurt and it breaks. The ghost said don't worry about that don’t you want to get back to shore. Ok attach it to my back but don’t blame me if my back gets hurt.
Charlie S
Book:The impossible quest escape from Wolfhaven castle. By Kate Forsyth.
Tom took up all his courage and was going to see Lord Wolfgang he rushed through the garden up the castle steps . Into the castle he found himself flabbergasted . All the Maids were everywhere . The lord was straight ahead .
Charlie S
Tom was told to go away and keep running until he get told to stop and do different work like Guarding the cells,training the new ones and Sharpening the swords until The sun starts going down he can stop and go…
To bed and wake up for another day doing the same things.
very well written Isabella R i really liked your follow on paragraph
ReplyDeletefrom Isabellas Mum.